Born to be Free

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1) This year so far has really been one of self-discovery. Of discovering who I am in Him.  Who I am not.  Who I am to be. Discovering what I believe.  What I don't.  And why. Where He wants me.  Why He wants me here.  What I am to do. Surprisingly enough, this journey began right when I decided to give up on the notion of possibly knowing exactly where I'm supposed to be. He has this way of letting me live what I believe to be my plan for a while.  Then my life flips upside down, and really - that's the moment He's been waiting for. Faith has never meant being tough.  It's never been about stepping up and showing people how it's done. The heroes of Hebrews 11 - their strength came from their own brokenness because it was never about being strong.  It was never about the capabilities, their intelligence, their...

In our backyard there are a sizable number of tomato plants.  We have several different varieties, thus several colors as well.  Jumbled together in the bottom of my metal bowl, it was like a myriad of colors shouting together the joy of this season.  The winds are changing..... And for the better.  Each day I am closer to fitting the puzzle pieces of my life together - and I'm beginning to see these things around me as God's preparation.  So excited with the possibilities he has set before me!  I've got one more year still left for quizzing, and the chance to work in that area perhaps afterword.  I was asked to consider going back to Canada as a counselor next year.  I'm beginning to develop friendships with some of the kids that I meet at the library.  Really, I'm amazed with all that He's put in front of me. Tomatoes, harvest beginnings, lower temps - they're all pointing to a change of seasons.  A season of joy, provision, abunda...

I came home this past Sunday from a Bible retreat/fishing trip in Canada.  I had spent the week tent camping on an island with a few friends, and it really made for an amazing adventure (plus good food! <3 ) There were many things we studied when we weren't fishing.  Usually we were assigned a chapter from the Bible, supposed to memorize some verses from it, and then come back after the half hour to discuss it. One morning, our text was Psalm 91 - a passage about God's protection and provision for us and the reasons why He would give it to us.  I was reading through the chapter when I came to verse 9 - "Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place, the Most High Who is my refuge." Something stuck out to me there. I am quite deeply introverted.  It's not that I don't like people - I care a lot about them.  But I gain all my energy from solitude and it's easy for me to feel out of place and unseen. We had made several stops before we had...

The written word means a lot to me.  I have a decade's worth of letters saved and rarely delete anything but junk emails.  Friends come and go sometimes, but I like to remember that they were here and cared - at least at one point.  ;) Well, there's been a lot going on, a lot that's been pressed upon me lately and risked letting depression return (which is scary in and of itself - to say nothing of the causes.) It's hard for me to admit when I need help.  I don't like to bother people - even though I might need a voice of hope desperately. The other day I remembered a note a friend had slipped me a while back when I was going through many of the same issues. I rummaged through old books and drawers and managed to find it, re-read it a bit slower this time.  One sentence in particular snagged on a split edge of my soul. "Amidst all you're going through, He's right there loving you and carrying you through - and He always will be." It was...

My pastor has been preaching through Hebrews 11 - a couple weeks ago he spoke about Abraham. It hit me when I was walking to work - how my story (and the stories of many of my friends) are so similar to his. You have Abram living in his hometown, married to Sarai.  He's fairly young, and he's got a lot of opportunities there. Then one day, God speaks to Abram, tells him He wants him to move. Where?  He wasn't about to tell him yet. "Pack your bags and hit the road!  Yes, I know you are completely unaware of what direction to head in." So Abram sets out, trusting that God will show him where to go.  This wasn't a "please show me what dreams to pursue over the next month" sort of thing.  That is a step of faith for some. But for Abram?  This was a day-by-day thing.  Forget about tomorrow. "God, please show me where you want me to go today.  I have no idea what to do about tomorrow." I'm sure many high-school seniors have...

So here I am, back from a three week sabbatical.  I have needed a reset for awhile, some time to think and sort things out, get some fresh ideas into my brain, and give voice to more ponderings. :) ~ Most days you know what you're going to get.  Life seems pretty predictable and there's a rhythm, even if the rhythm means three people in the family working, six kids being schooled and a whole lot of people needing you to help them live their lives. Then you have one of  those  days.  One of the days when you've got a friend or a relative in the hospital; when a tire goes out on an old van and you're stuck; when you've got a friend who calls and talks for hours because they feel lost; or one of the days when you're on the other side of that phone. I knew a woman once who was so glued to her schedule that if anything went wrong, her whole week was ruined.  Whatever she had planned to do that day was no longer going to get done.  Her life was prett...

So, everybody around you?  They need somebody.  Maybe you could be that somebody? No one is impenetrable, there's a bit of broken inside each one of us - and our fears can roar like lions at night when the Devil tells us that we're just not enough. No matter our fronts, really - we're all afraid, sinking with every step. Nothing quite kills you like feeling alone - like you've got to do it all on your own. But there's this God - this Jesus Who "became a man to enable men to become sons of God". (C. S. Lewis) There's this God Who became embodied flesh, Who faced temptations at every moment - and conquered ours.  "For we do not have a priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15) He not only healed the sick, but raised the  dead .  Every time we read it, we proclaim it - that "He is not God of the dead, but of the living, for all...