Born to be Free

Every year we return to South Carolina, it feels a lot like we're going home.  It's a place that's etched itself into my heart, and all my childhood memories. In some ways, I feel like I grew up on the beach, among the wild things that burrowed in the sand, dampened by the salt-spray. There was "the year of the seaweed", when hurricane surges had stirred up the depths and washed color on the sand. There was the year we bought peaches and watermelons from the local farmer's market. That one time in 2015 we were there during the hortific flooding that washed out roads and railroad tracks.  We drove our 12-passenger van through water as it splashed up on the hood.  Somehow we survived. I've changed every year, especially over this past one it seems.  This returning, this coming "home" - it grounds me, reminds me who I've always been, Who's always been there. He's traveled with me every year, guarding my path, healing my spiri...

In a few days we will be leaving for our annual trip to South Carolina.  We have gone to the same spot since I was little, returning to the memory again and again. Perhaps one of the questions I hear the most is "What about the sharks?"  I tell people that the most afraid you'll ever be is when you're sitting at home.  When you walk to the water's edge, perhaps there is a bit of apprehension.  But as soon as the waves engulf you, there is no fear left - it's all been washed away. Maybe it's the same thing as when God says "Return to Me, and I will return to you..." (Malachi 3:7)  Maybe the most scared you'll ever be of the great unknown depths of God is when you're seated in your spiritual rocking chair. But when we're comfortable where we are is when we're in the most danger. Somehow, you just don't realize that until you're in the middle of the dark, when your biggest fears are swirling around you and threatening...

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1) This year so far has really been one of self-discovery. Of discovering who I am in Him.  Who I am not.  Who I am to be. Discovering what I believe.  What I don't.  And why. Where He wants me.  Why He wants me here.  What I am to do. Surprisingly enough, this journey began right when I decided to give up on the notion of possibly knowing exactly where I'm supposed to be. He has this way of letting me live what I believe to be my plan for a while.  Then my life flips upside down, and really - that's the moment He's been waiting for. Faith has never meant being tough.  It's never been about stepping up and showing people how it's done. The heroes of Hebrews 11 - their strength came from their own brokenness because it was never about being strong.  It was never about the capabilities, their intelligence, their...

In our backyard there are a sizable number of tomato plants.  We have several different varieties, thus several colors as well.  Jumbled together in the bottom of my metal bowl, it was like a myriad of colors shouting together the joy of this season.  The winds are changing..... And for the better.  Each day I am closer to fitting the puzzle pieces of my life together - and I'm beginning to see these things around me as God's preparation.  So excited with the possibilities he has set before me!  I've got one more year still left for quizzing, and the chance to work in that area perhaps afterword.  I was asked to consider going back to Canada as a counselor next year.  I'm beginning to develop friendships with some of the kids that I meet at the library.  Really, I'm amazed with all that He's put in front of me. Tomatoes, harvest beginnings, lower temps - they're all pointing to a change of seasons.  A season of joy, provision, abunda...

I came home this past Sunday from a Bible retreat/fishing trip in Canada.  I had spent the week tent camping on an island with a few friends, and it really made for an amazing adventure (plus good food! <3 ) There were many things we studied when we weren't fishing.  Usually we were assigned a chapter from the Bible, supposed to memorize some verses from it, and then come back after the half hour to discuss it. One morning, our text was Psalm 91 - a passage about God's protection and provision for us and the reasons why He would give it to us.  I was reading through the chapter when I came to verse 9 - "Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place, the Most High Who is my refuge." Something stuck out to me there. I am quite deeply introverted.  It's not that I don't like people - I care a lot about them.  But I gain all my energy from solitude and it's easy for me to feel out of place and unseen. We had made several stops before we had...

The written word means a lot to me.  I have a decade's worth of letters saved and rarely delete anything but junk emails.  Friends come and go sometimes, but I like to remember that they were here and cared - at least at one point.  ;) Well, there's been a lot going on, a lot that's been pressed upon me lately and risked letting depression return (which is scary in and of itself - to say nothing of the causes.) It's hard for me to admit when I need help.  I don't like to bother people - even though I might need a voice of hope desperately. The other day I remembered a note a friend had slipped me a while back when I was going through many of the same issues. I rummaged through old books and drawers and managed to find it, re-read it a bit slower this time.  One sentence in particular snagged on a split edge of my soul. "Amidst all you're going through, He's right there loving you and carrying you through - and He always will be." It was...

My pastor has been preaching through Hebrews 11 - a couple weeks ago he spoke about Abraham. It hit me when I was walking to work - how my story (and the stories of many of my friends) are so similar to his. You have Abram living in his hometown, married to Sarai.  He's fairly young, and he's got a lot of opportunities there. Then one day, God speaks to Abram, tells him He wants him to move. Where?  He wasn't about to tell him yet. "Pack your bags and hit the road!  Yes, I know you are completely unaware of what direction to head in." So Abram sets out, trusting that God will show him where to go.  This wasn't a "please show me what dreams to pursue over the next month" sort of thing.  That is a step of faith for some. But for Abram?  This was a day-by-day thing.  Forget about tomorrow. "God, please show me where you want me to go today.  I have no idea what to do about tomorrow." I'm sure many high-school seniors have...